When was the last time you were completely alone with your thoughts? No phone, no music, no YouTube playing in the background. Just you, sitting there with nothing to do.
Honestly, most of us probably have no idea.
The moment there's a little gap in the day, we reach for our phones.
We've gotten so used to filling every quiet moment that being alone with our own thoughts can feel uncomfortable.
I've noticed this in myself too. Some of the best ideas I've had came when I wasn't doing anything at all. Just sitting quietly and letting my mind wander.
And I think we're losing that ability without even realising it.
We Have Started Treating Alone Like a Disease
Somewhere along the way, we started treating being alone like a problem.
A kid sitting by himself makes us wonder if something is wrong. Someone eating alone at a restaurant gets that little look of pity. We've somehow started treating being alone and being lonely as the same thing.
They really aren't.
Loneliness hurts. It's wanting company and not having it.
The sad part is that we've become so afraid of loneliness that we've also stopped giving ourselves a chance to enjoy being alone.
So, What Happens When You're Left Alone?
Some of the best work happens when nobody is around to interrupt you.
Take Isaac Newton.
In 1665, the plague shut down Cambridge University, and Newton went back to his family home. Suddenly, the classes were gone, his friends were gone, and there wasn't much else to do.
Sounds pretty miserable, right?
It's also worth remembering that many ideas we celebrate as discoveries today were explored centuries ago in Indian scriptures and by Indian mathematicians.
Think about Surdas.
He is believed to have been blind and spent much of his life away from the outside world. Yet he wrote some of India's most beautiful devotional poems. Even after 500 years, people still sing his songs and feel moved by his words, even if they don't know who wrote them.
Five hundred years later, people are still singing those bhajans.
That's what I find so powerful about solitude. Sometimes you have no choice but to sit with what you're feeling. What you do with that time can change everything.
That's what gets me about all of these stories.
We tend to notice the moment someone finally does something brilliant.
The hours they spent alone getting there are much easier to miss.
Nothing Real Gets Built in a Crowd
A lot of deep work happens when nobody else is around.
Our rishis didn't find their insights in a busy marketplace. They went into forests and spent years in silence.
Buddha didn't reach enlightenment surrounded by people. He sat under a tree by himself and kept going until he found what he was looking for.
And this isn't just about spirituality.
I feel the same in my own work. I can discuss a company with ten smart people, and those conversations are useful.
But the moment something really clicks for me usually comes later, when I'm alone with my chai in the afternoon.
I've started making time for this on purpose. I don't keep social media on my phone. I have to open a separate tab to use it, which gives me some quiet time to think.
When I travel outside Calcutta, I often eat alone. I find it surprisingly relaxing, almost like meditation.
I've realised that this kind of quiet time doesn't happen by chance. I have to make time for it.
You Can't Study Alone If You Can't Sit Alone
When you're learning something hard, there's only so much other people can do for you.
You can watch lectures, ask questions, sit with friends, and read ten different explanations. At some point, though, you have to sit down by yourself and wrestle with the thing that still isn't making sense.
You read the same page again. You try the problem again. You get annoyed. You leave it for a while and come back. And then, suddenly, it clicks.
Sometimes you just need to sit with something long enough for your brain to figure it out.
Start Here
Feed the habit with a book.
Pick up Cal Newport's Deep Work, or Nir Eyal's Indistractable.
Both are about reclaiming your attention and your ability to sit with hard things, and both will make you feel a little called out in the best way.
I don't think he meant that we should shut everyone out or try to live without people.
Sometimes you just have to move before anyone else understands what you're doing. You can't always wait for someone to agree with you, come with you, or tell you that you're making the right choice.
There will be times when you're the only person who believes in what you're doing.
And you still have to keep walking.
Being able to do that without falling apart is a pretty powerful kind of strength.
Invest in yourself,
Aswini Bajaj